The Unbearable Gayness of Being (a Twink)

I love these guys. They call each other girls, sluts or whores, in all friendliness. They consult Facebook when they want to dye their hair and complain about ”ugly tan lines”, whatever the hell that means. They have job descriptions such as "beauty advisor" (scroll down for a particularly lovely one, Kaiden Ertelle). They gush happily about all the cute designer accessories they found while shopping. In fact, they can mention shopping as a hobby or favorite activity at Facebook. They go tasting wines dressed in drag (the lady in pink in the picture is Dustin Revees). Whenever they post pictures or videos of themselves - and they do that a lot - they fret about how horrible the lighting makes them look or how ugly their freckles are even though a casual observer can spot no difference with their usual gorgeousness. They are all excited about Sex in the City 2 and they actually like Britney Spears. No, gay guys are not similar to straight ones.

Not that they can't be all macho when they want to. Just look at them at the screen when they top another guy, look at their necks and backs and their muscular butts. Look at the passion - or read how they comment the sexual activities they and their friends commit for the viewing pleasure of us all. Nothing girly about that. Nor are all their hobbies gay or girly – and there is this irreverent, exuberant boyishness (in the picture at right we have Hayden Chandler - the embodiment of irreverent, exuberant boyishness) about them that I adore. They are unabashedly and perpetually horny, and refreshingly upbeat and guilt-free about sex. Granted - these are not only gay guys - they are homosexual male twink porn performers. I know about bears and daddies, and the dangers of stereotyping, I know how misogyny and homophobia have made an unholy alliance. Yet I believe there is some quintessential male gayness in my beloved boyish twinks.

For all they tend to rant about how disgusting they find male homosexuality, straight guys are fascinated by it. They joke about it, they are curious about it, and often when they are more than a little drunk and in all-male company they start to play-act gay. Does it mean that everyone is at least a little bisexual? Or that these guys are necessarily closet gays protesting too much? I don't think so. I think it is envy of the freedom of male gay. The conservative iron mold that a ”real man”, that is a heterosexual one, has to try to squeeze himself in order to avoid the stigma of a loser and ridicule is not a pretty one – and it chafes. A gay can happily play around with his fluid gender identity, social representations and stereotypes, as he has nothing to lose in that game. And that is terribly liberating! Even if you only want to fuck girls.

An Introduction

This blog will not be an attempt to chronicle everything happening in twink porn - there are others already doing that with more diligence and skill that I could muster. I will write about what happens to inspire me personally - in a good or bad way.

So why yet another twink porn blog? My perspective may be a bit different and perhaps amusing. I am a woman - a middle-aged heterosexual tomboy woman who loves twinks and gay porn. That probably means that my perspective is a bit different from someone to whom a twink might represent, say, an ideal sexual partner. I happen to know that I am not an anomalic freak: there are a lot of women like me, and a lot of male gay erotica is written by women (something I do myself too).

I also have the training of a social scientist. I'm terribly sorry about that. I know that social scientists are annoying and suck. It just kinda happened. I didn't mean to. But anyway, that has wired my brain in a certain way: I tend to form all sort of theories and hypothesis about people, cultures, subcultures, social processes, language. And that might provide some occasional insight into the world of pornography too. I will try to keep the irritating smug academic jargon to a bare minimum.

What do I feel for these heart-achingly beautiful, highly sensual creatures, these lovely boys? I want to be a dirty old crone, to savor their beauty, to drool at their bodies, to satisfy myself by watching them at it. I want to be their mother, to beam at their successes, to comfort and advice them when they are troubled, to protect them from anything evil. I want to be a girlfag, to relive my youth, to be their best friend and their lover and fuck myself silly and party the night away with them. How's that for a twisted version of the ancient cultural image of the crone, mother and maiden?